Like you said, there are more problems than just libido. I would suggest a therapist. Don't add another person, that's just adding fuel to the fire in my opinion.
You guys need to work through the job situations (help her work through what was going on at her last job), what you can do with your schedules, a difference in libidos and what causes her to have discomfort during sex.
Now, that said ... this needs to be addressed yesterday:
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... but she just says, once I get my weight under control we'll have sex more often.
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That's hitting below the belt. Personally that one would have been a deal-breaker for me.