That's okay if your not religious, but I would encourage you to reach out!! I'm a little concerned with your statement of, "WHY?" So I will give you my reasons to keep going, and maybe you will find strength in mine to find your own.

1. I know that I have a symphony to create and right now I don't have the skills to create that grand symphony, I keep going because I love music.
2. I keep going to serve people on here, to help them get through the tough times, for the good times that are yet to come.
3. Even though I am an addict, I look forward to the day when I can just let things go and not give into urges.
4. I believe in my treatment team, one to bring me out of the dark days but to help me find the light and happiness that everyone seeks
5. I know that in order to live, it takes work, even if I don't want to, I know that I can find the joy in life.
6. I know that there are people out there that can find strength in sharing my story with them to help them find the light again.

Don't think of it is more time suffering, think of it as more time doing the things that you will learn to love.

I hope you search for your own reasons for living. But just know it doesn't happen in a second, it takes a lifetime to really enjoy what you are doing.

Hope this helps you to keep going, and I would speak with a community liaison that is online if this type thinking continues.