Same boat here. I'm almost 33 and have been told by many that SSDI is the way to go, so that's where I'm going...for now. I wouldn't say it's a permanent thing. I also don't like the fact that I'm bipolar but it's just that, a fact. I'm absolutely crazy without medication and for me it is a very scary place to be un-medicated. I don't want to remember that place but I do. I'm also not working and often lie to people about work, only to people I meet on a casual basis. Family is the only people who know what my Dx is, friends I just keep it casual and don't talk about work. I, like you, don't want the pity either. It's a tough road in all aspects. Take it day by day, you'll figure things out.