With my ex T I went through a period of obsessively googling her. I made and managed to keep a rigid rule to not go into personal things like Facebook, but I had the deterrent that she was visibly uncomfortable when she first found out that I found a few professional blogs of hers, in an area of her work that didn't involve my issues. When I found myself missing her I googled her to see what I could learn about her professionally at least. Spent lots of time doing that. New T is very open but I still do this with him sometimes.

It takes courage to tell the T but you did, are working on figuring out what this says about your needs and changing a behavior you feel is harmful to yourself. If changed happened overnight therapists would be a lot poorer. Maybe a productive topic to discuss with your T would be, once you figure out what's behind this need, is what kinds of things would meet the same need in ways that are better for you.

I agree that therapy is different. Bringing your uncensored reactions to T is about you, not her.

Well, back to sleep for me. I hope you get sleep too. Night.

I think you might want to examine why you are making those assumptions about why she changed her photo. "In order to get compliments" is not an explanation I would have come up with, ever - to me that sounds exceedingly unlikely. And you don't know how many friends she has on Facebook or how active she is; if you seldom post to FB, very few people are going to see your posts when you do post, because of the way Facebook works. Your photo won't appear in your friends' newsfeeds if they have many friends and you are not very active. Facebook only shows some posts to other people. But if your T posts often and has many friends she interacts with, 50 comments is not that many.

I wonder if you accepted that you like to look at her picture on FB, would you feel better, and maybe even at some point find you don't need to look as often?

I just throw that out there because I think this way of looking at it is helping me. When I finally revealed to my T that I had googled her and looked at her FB page she was very accepting of it. She told me it was natural for me to be curious.

She has also said that I can ask her anything, including personal things about her. This has helped me tremendously and I feel very close to her. After a few years Of talking about it we are now FB friends. This has not been easy, but I think it's been helpful. I still have jealous feelings towards her and her friends and family, but usually once we talk about it I feel much better.

I am justly now learning that accepting how i feel is making things much easier for me. I'm assuming a lot of my crap has to,do with shame, including looking at FB, but my T's acceptance, and my own acceptance seems to be making a big difference.

Perhaps you are worried that more people will like her because of her FB photo? Just a stab in the dark.

FB keeps suggesting I be friends with my T. So, she knows her picture has come up. But, she's locked up tight and I can't see a thing which makes it easier.