I think that Pink stated all of that quite well.

I would say that transference comes about naturally sometimes whether you want it or not. It is there and (for me) may come and go and come and go... and allows you to work things through in a safer environment. The transference may include people that it is not appropriate for you to act out with (say your boss maybe or in my case my elderly parents) or someone that may not be available to you due to loss, death, etc..

You might begin to see similarities in behaviors or reactions and a transference might take hold. But no I do not think that we can say we want one and get one without circumstances being favorable...(and favorable would change from person to person, situation to situation.)