Friendship goal posts always move due to our instability and one friendship is different to another... so what holds you to one friendship may not hold you to another.

I know you're somewhat generalizing and its a good topic to put up and find connection of dots.. but I just see AvPD and relationships filled with so many arguments and counter arguments that would make my head explode...
I fail at relationships so unfortunately my comments are going to be negative and not balanced which is what you don't need on here for good discussion from fellow Avoidants.

Keep digging though bc all you need is a comment from someone to light a bulb to feed thought.