Last night was a difficult night. I think I pushed myself too much. I saw my 1st dentist at 9am, then had to do a check-in with the clinician at 12pm, the group facilitator called me at 12:30pm and we talked for 20mins, then had to go to 2nd dentist at 2pm which lasted 2 hours, then I got a phone call from a potential T, went home, my mom came over at 5:45pm and I went out to dinner with her and my niece, and when I got home, my dog pee'd all over the carpet.... That set off my anger and the desire to SI. So I called my fiance, but he was at work and couldn't talk to me. I wanted to reach out here, but wasn't sure if I wait to see if my thread would be unlocked or start a new one.

I didn't SI...yay! I instead ate ice cream , sent the advocate some information, and worked on my DBT homework of pleasurable goal settings. I realized I was actually supposed to attempt some steps in the goals...so I didn't fully complete the homework. But I can always attempt some next week.

I still really really miss my T. I feel so helpless w/o her. Good or bad, I still love her. I do have times of being angry with her, but what I really want is her support and care. I had it for a year and a half, and to just have it ripped away...I feel fragile, vulnerable, and scared.

Today I check-in with the clinician at noon, and then have group at 3pm. Hopefully, it will be a lot calmer of a day.