Ixodon,
I have been were your at right now. The only difference is I do not drink I stopped when I started medication for my mental health over 8 years ago. I was probably in that state for a good solid 6 years. I know how it feels it is absolutely positively horrible (and maybe that does not say it enough). Two things if you are doing any medication please keep working with you doctor to find the right combination (it takes a lot of trial and error unfortunately). Second is if you have a therapist be as open as you can so hopefully you can work through it. I have been in therapy for 10 years now with only one short break for a few months because I really thought I had gotten to a place where I did not need anymore but jumped the gun a little bit. And if you have neither therapy or medication it may be something you want to look into. If you want to talk anytime please go ahead an PM me I would be happy to discuss in further detail with you. Hang in there I know how tough this is and there is no simple answer or magic pill but the PC group is definitely here for you. It is a great place to talk things through with individuals who understand.