Hello, I'm new here so please bare with me if I am posting in the wrong place. I just want some opinions or insight from people who may be familiar or have experience with similar situations.
I will start with what has been bothering me the most lately and that is my lack of empathy for others. My sister has been mentally unwell for about 4 years now (She has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder). It's been hard on her. Our mother has been very upset with all the things which have occurred since, as has my other sister and father. My sister, who is Ill cut us all out of her life for about 6 months, spread awful lies and has said many hurtful things to my family over the past few years and this has visibly taken it's toll on them all, especially my mum. But all this time I have felt nothing, apart from occasional bouts of anger or frustration. I know I should feel empathy for them and feel sad about the situation itself but I don't. I know this isn't normal. I want to feel for them. I do attempt to comfort them and say the right things but it's hollow and empty and I will admit that many times I have found their emotional state to be 'inconvenient' for me. That is a horrible, awful thing to say, I know that in my head yet I am unable to feel real guilt for feeling that way. I don't resent any of them and I love them, they are my family and I don't understand why I can't empathise or feel sadness for them.
Could my lack of feeling for others be something more or, in honest opinions please, does this mean I am just selfish and cold? I used to be so sensitive and caring and I was a very empathetic person. I would feel pain for anyone or anything who was suffering but now nothing. It's almost like I just switched it off. If anyone who is familiar with this kind of situation could give their opinion It would be appreciated. Thank you.