For me, I recently expressed feelings of "physical and emotional attraction" to my marriage counselor (not in front of my husband, of course, though he's now aware of at least the emotional part). He's great at empathy (which I felt was missing from my marriage) and stuff like "hugging from across the room" (his term) or "hugging me with his voice" (mine). I feel an intense connection to him--we also seem to be wired somewhat similarly (both introverts, social anxiety, insecure, etc.), so I feel like he understands me in ways that my husband doesn't (extrovert, no social anxiety, fairly secure, etc.).

Met with MC individually last week to discuss these feelings and ended up mostly talking about my desire for empathy, to feel safe/secure, feel "emotionally held," etc. Dredged up some stuff from my past that may have led me to have some of those feelings now. Monday he met with my H and I, discussed some of what had come up, since my H sort of figured out why I had the individual meeting. In the meantime, I had also started thinking there might be some paternal transference instead of or in addition to the romantic/erotic. So I wanted to discuss more of that with MC, ideally in another individual session. As I put it, it's like these wounds were opened up and I wanted his help to heal them. Note that I also see an individual T at the same practice (a woman, who's awesome).

During Monday's session, I asked if I could have another individual session with MC (my H as well as my T had already said OK). But MC seemed to be trying to dodge it, saying I should work with my T instead or that he, H, and I could work on it together. I tried a couple times to express my desire to meet separately, and he was mentioning boundaries (with my T, with my H, etc.), and basically seemed to be rejecting my request.

It felt like a knife through my heart. Like, once I got out of the office, I was just sobbing. Because it felt like such a rejection to me, that he didn't want to meet with me separately to sort of finish the conversation we'd started. I think it was a combo of the romantic and paternal at play, plus the whole authority figure thing. Left him a long, sobbing voicemail, didn't really sleep that night. And he called back the next day apologizing profusely, saying he didn't mean for me to feel rejected, that it wasn't that he was unwilling to see me or work with me, and we ended up setting another individual appointment for next week. I felt such relief after that, like my heart was healed again.

Sorry--that was way longer than I meant it to be! (And I have my own thread or two about it.) Just sharing to let you know I understand the intensity--and that was without actually telling him I loved him (and having him reject me). I think it's so painful because it's not just about what's happening between you and T, but also the stuff from the past that comes up in sessions, as another poster mentioned. Plus you've shared deep emotion, thoughts, and pain with this person, so it feels just like a romantic relationship--maybe even more intense.

Out of curiosity, BudFox, did your T give you the option to stay longer and work through the feelings? Just wondering if the termination was her idea, yours (because it was too painful), or a mutual decision? I definitely think it would help to work through it with another T, though as you've said, it can be hard to find someone you're comfortable with.