First of all, nothing you post here in a waste of time. You have a need and you posted it and we are here to help you through it. I think that a plan needs to be in place for you. Set some goals for what you want to do and stick to them. If you start to feel overwhelmed and want to quit, take a breath, and write down your goals. Every time you feel this way take a look at your goals. If you need more help post on here and let us help you through. We will help the best that we can. I hope that you get to feeling better and gain strength to overcome this feeling of being a waste of space and air. You are not a waste of anything. Be strong and stand firm.