Hi there - and welcome!

I agree with everything that Springstar said. Professionals would call your ex-wife's behaviours manipulative. When I was getting divorced from my ex-husband, he threatened to kill himself. I was just beginning my issues of severe depression at that time, but had enough strength not to feel responsible for him. In fact, I brought him to the marriage counselor and told the counselor in front of ex, that if he hurt/killed himself it is not my responsibility.

I think you know the answer deep down. This woman continually hurts you and you gave her more chances than I would have given her.

If you are truly happy with the new woman in your life (even if your not) steer your ex-wife to a good therapist. That would be helping her without taking responsibility for her emotions.

Good luck
Tranquility