I think people cope in different ways. If you all were physically present in my life, it would be overwhelming. Then again, I could never ever handle this many people in my life. The fact that this is online makes a huge difference to me. People don't have to respond by a certain time or at all. Same with me. I don't feel any pressure to respond individually. I do when I can. And I do take breaks away from the forums. Today I was at group, took a nap, went out to dinner with my fiance, and I plan on watching tv in a few. Yesterday I had 2 dentists appts and went out to dinner with my mom and niece. On top of that, I haven't posted much about actual events that occurred, just the pain and how I'm doing mostly. The pain consumes me right now. There's no escaping it. And it's not healthy to avoid it either. But I'm also not focusing on it. I do my best to still achieve all of my responsibilities everyday. And then, I'm also not talking to the people in my life about it 24/7. My niece doesn't even know what happened. And if I do talk about it with someone, I'm not always crying. I tend to have a good on/off switch intuition when it comes to knowing when I can cry. And if the switch fails, I leave the situation.

Does that make sense? The only time I felt pressured to respond was my fault. I posted something that upset people and didn't think to be more clear or to check-in. So as soon as I realized I did that, I responded.

I know my limitations and boundaries pretty well for the most part. My concern is other people's limitations and making sure that they know that I have no expectations on them. I don't want to burden anyone or make them feel like they have to do or say anything. If I don't get a reply from X person within a certain amount of time, I'm not going to freak out and feel abandoned. I simply will be grateful for all they already have done and hope all is well with them.

Besides, I LOVE writing. It's such a beneficial outlet for me. I could write for hour and hours if given the chance. One time I wrote a journal entry that was 40 pages long