About a month ago I told a friend of mine that I was struggling with ED stuff. Last night we were having a conversation due to some conflict, and she mentioned that she had been distancing herself from me. I had noticed this but didn't have the opportunity to speak with her about it.
The distance was partly due to stuff that she had been struggling with but as we were having this conversation, she brought up the ED. She was visibly angry and frustrated. She said that she cared about me, but that I was playing with fire and that I was going to be severely burned. She said that she cannot care about me more than I care about myself. She also told me that I have so much going for me and that I'm throwing it all away. And that I haven't done enough to try and fight. She's frustrated and just wants to shake me and punch me in the face and basically knock some sense into me. These were her words, not that she would ever do that, this is just a reflection of her personality.

I acknowledged that she was right, that I wasn't doing enough to work on things. I definitely could do more. It's just not simple. And it's hard. But I'm not sure how to feel after this conversation. Some part of me interprets her strong reaction as an indication of her caring about me and wanting me to be healthy. But some part of me also thinks that perhaps she went about this conversation in an inappropriate way. I don't know...

But as I'm sitting here thinking about it and writing this post, there is a part of me that feels so guilty. And mad at myself. There is a reason why I choose not to tell people about what I'm struggling with. To be honest, I feel like I shouldn't have told her. I feel like I put too much on her by telling her. It's clearly affected her and I feel extremely guilty. And maybe embarassed or ashamed.

Then again, there's a part of me that's hurt and mad that she approached the conversation that way...I'm torn I suppose...

Has anyone had any experience like this? I was going to see my T today but she cancelled, so I'm just trying to figure this out.

Thanks