Hi xEllieKx

Thank you for introducing yourself to us.

I am glad that you are here at Psych Central.

This is a great place to be for online support.

It always helps to speak to others who share the same thoughts and feelings as we do.

I hear you when you say that you feel that you have lack of empathy for your mother.

And I am sorry to hear that your sister has been unwell.

I am sure this has been a challenging time for you, your mother, father and sister.

I am sorry to hear that your sister has been spreading lies and impacting on your family.

This is a very difficult situation to live with.

Maybe you feel "nothing" as a means of protecting yourself from emotional pain?

I am unsure.

But if you allow yourself this little bit of space then perhaps it is less damaging to you because some of her behaviours sound destructive?

I think that the way that we learn to process situations emotionally is quite individual.

Yes, you have felt some bouts of anger and frustration.

But there is no real guideline on how our feelings are meant to be in these types of situations.

I don't like feeling angry and frustrated.

So I wonder if you've developed a copying mechanism to block the potential pain or discomfort feeling out? Like a defense mechanism?

Well yes, if you are protecting yourself emotionally then your families reactions can appear inconvenient. You're trying to distance yourself and they're being reeled in.

I don't really think that you are selfish.

I don't believe that you are cold either.

This is my opinion.

I believe that you are protecting yourself.

You are the sister.

You are not there to "manage" this situation, this is not your responsbility to have this burden.

I really do think that in certain situations you can be empathetic and caring, but my honest opinon is well if she is being this disruptive to your family environment you may have been hurt by this behaviour in the past and need to protect yourself from further harm.

Have you ever considered discussing this defense mechanism with a therapist?

Hang in there.

We are here for you.