The other side of anxiety is depression. Live with anxiety for long enough and it will morph into depression.

Do you like walking or running? Either one is great and will help you convert stress into endorphins that will make you feel good. Any kind of physical activity.

Do something that makes you concentrate on something outside your own mind like gardening or wood work or needlework.....Any kind of hobby that takes the focus of what is inside your head. Painting?

If you like drawing (No talent needed at all for this to work) Get a pencil, pen any medium really, just get your emotions out onto the paper. I like using crayons because they feel good in my hand. You don't start of with any kind of picture. Sometimes just breath and let yours emotions be shown. It could be pages and pages of black scribble - If you are angry choose a color that expresses that. If you are sad (Blue or Grey) use them. Use what you want. No body is going to critique it. U can just draw shapes. I had a couple of art therapy lessons and it is amazing how we can express emotions this way.

Mine isnt art...... It looks infantile really, but sometimes it just makes me feel........

Be your own artist.

Hi Mefisto,

Sorry you're having a hard time, and that you're waking up in pain and having repeated memories you don't like. It sounds like you went through a lot of trauma, and you're reliving bad things that happened. It also sounds like you are worried a lot.

Seven months is really not that long a time after a major traumatic experience. It takes a long time to heal, and not everyone heals at the same pace. But I don't think you have to live like this for the rest of your life -- you can work on reducing stress and things will slowly get better.

If you can't afford a full price therapist right now, can you afford to go to a university or college where there are sliding scale therapists? Often these are psych grad students and their rates are far more affordable.

If even that is out of reach for you, and mindfulness meditations on your own aren't helping, maybe try finding a free support group (including reading and posting to the PTSD and perhaps grief threads here on PC) that meets in person that deals with the kind of challenges you're living with.

There is also a book I have which -- especially if you're creative -- might help: "Managing Traumatic Stress Through Art". It has exercises you can do, and includes drawing and writing exercises. Some people find this kind of work more effective than talk therapy. The book is $23 or so, but you might be able to also get it at a library somewhere and photocopy it or do the exercises by hand on separate paper.

In dealing with traumatic stuff, I have found that spending too much time alone often makes it worse, too. It's good to distract myself, and have a goal to spend a certain amount of time of doing something for someone else. It doesn't have to be big... it can be baking a pie and sharing it with a neighbor or chatting with someone online about their day and new TV shows. Something not even remotely related to what you have experienced, though, as you're trying to give yourself a mental health break from what triggers you.

I hope you find something that helps you.