I'm going to do the communication sandwich technique, lol, but the avie version - disagree, agree, then disagree.

I disagree with this, but I think I agree with the intent. If I'm reading you right. lol I think all avoidants are on a pendulum, or a wave. People and passions come and go, get closer and further apart.

I don't agree that the "bell rings" and then it's done forever. I think a lot of times emotional abuse builds up (because, of course, avoidant people "deserve" it) and it tips the scales and the person has hung themselves off the moon and they have to be cut loose. But that's something different.

On the contrary, I think the commitment has to be super deep to even try to work through a pendulum shift, or a wave dip, or whatever you want to call it. The friendship will shift all over the place, sure, and even appear to be superficial at some times. (We know there is no such thing as an actual superficial avoidant friendship - come on, no one wastes their time on those.) But if there isn't a solid anchoring, the whole relationship will just slip away.

And I'm sorry I'm being negative disagreeing with you. I think we might be talking about the same thing, but seeing it differently and describing it differently. I'm sorry if I'm not being clear.

This - omg yes, couldn't have said it better.

Hmmm. Sounds like a challenge. lol

I don't know, of course, but this screams of black and white thinking. 7 billion people on the earth - no one can stand up to your avoidance? I hope you find someone that proves you wrong.

And here's the final issue that I disagree with - the idea that you are negative. Nope, sorry. You're telling the truth. Drives me friggin bonkers when people think that someone with the guts to stand up and speak honestly is negative, just because they aren't fluffing things up (*cough, cough* - lying) in order to be "pleasant."

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now...