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Originally Posted by Mefisto
I found some psychologist that offers therapy for free. I will go to her next week and write here about it.
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That sounds promising. Maybe the psychologist can offer you referrals or give you ideas as to what to do that will help where you live -- ideas that I could not come up with for you. I hope it goes well!
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Originally Posted by Mefisto
There are no free support group where i live.
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Sorry to hear that. If that isn't possible, I think it's good that you've come here to PsychCentral and talk to people here who may be able to understand where you're coming from, offer support, and offer ideas.
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Originally Posted by Mefisto
I cant buy this book.
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I'm sorry to hear that. Still, you might be able to take it out at a library near you or get it through an interlibrary loan if your local library doesn't have it on hand.
Even if that specific book doesn't work for you or isn't easily obtained, it might be a good idea to check out what books are in the library near you on trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, and how to reintegrate into life after a traumatic experience.
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Originally Posted by Mefisto
If you are right about being alone is destructive - im doomed. Im alone almost everyday. I have few friends, but we seldom have possibility to see each other. I have some online-friends, but online-friendship doesnt really help.
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I wouldn't say you're doomed, but I would say that seeing people occasionally in person and distracting yourself -- even if distracting yourself doesn't have to deal with directly interacting with people in person -- can help take the edge off the anxiety that crops up around trauma.
I don't think you're doomed -- only that it may take you longer to heal without more of a support system and more distractions that get you engaged in life in a positive way. Having a therapist/psychologist help you, though, can be a major resource in helping you heal even if no one else around you is supportive.
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Originally Posted by Mefisto
And about triggers, i still cant develop this mental block. Even the sunny weather triggers my memories because those events happened during the sunny weather.
I also started to hate spring because of those couples walking everywhere, they trigger me a lot.
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I'm sorry you're having a difficult time with triggers including sunny weather. Has this made you more of a night owl, offhand?
I think talking to your therapist/psychologist about this may help. Also, there are resources and links I left in another thread for a veteran with PTSD which might help you:
"Check out "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma: Bessel van der Kolk MD: 9780670785933: Amazon.com: Books
I'd look at the Resources and Further Reading sections in the back of the book, too, as they are great sources for information. Some of those resources online are:
The Trauma Center at JRI
David Baldwin's Trauma Information Pages
Gift from Within: PTSD Resources for Survivors and Caregivers
There & Back Again (non-profit org that supports wellbeing of service-members -- its mission is to provide reintegration support services to combat veterans of all conflicts)
Sidran Foundation"
Good luck, and I hope some of what I've said is helpful in some way.