But now I have started again.

My prayer is that God forgives those of us who cannot tolerate life any longer.

I hope that he is not the vengeful God I learned of as a child but a merciful one who will welcome my weary soul into his kingdom.

I must find a home for my little puppies I owe them that. One will not be able to tolerate anywhere else so it is probably best she comes with me.

I pray I will not be cast into the eternal fires of hell because my spirit and soul are weak and my heart is broken.