Thank you for reminding me to save some for myself Sabau and yes I feel everyones encouragement purplesecrets...its really strange to do so...I feel at most times that everyone else deserves these things except for me.

It feels so very real to me...There is so much going on in my head...I wish I understood it...It seems so much easier as an outsider when reading someone else's post...to offer a suggestion. Why can't I take my own suggestion? Why? I don't understand? Why? why? It should be easy...why isn't it?