My mind is blank
yet I should feel
should see emotion
in your face

I find it hard
I read your eyes
your mouth
the twitches that you make

looking for cues
patterns I can discern
I've 'learnt'
I do not 'see'

Sorry for starting it off that way, felt like the only way I could. Tried going into chat earlier this evening but was kind of pointless... and that is no reflection on those who were present. I guess I come across as one of the 'stronger' ones... so when plight hits me its not significant or I'm not expressive enough... or just that the mood of the room at that time was not in the right place for one who was in need.

Not meaning that in a negative way... 'it is what it is' as my T would say

I upset my wife as I was trying to write this... when distracted I react badly (not physically nor verbally... just my presence I guess), and she went up to bed while inside I feel like I'm dying that little bit more.

Have had both my T and group T worried this week which in turn has not bolstered my confidence... seem concerned I'm going to spiral depending on how Monday goes (aspergers assessment).

Meh, I dunno.