You are doing this in the middle of the night where you live, yes? Depending on the conditions in your area, a nighttime stroll and sit is not automatically inadvisable. The stars and sounds of the night can be calming for some.

They also can sharpen the sense of aloneness.

May "learning" eventually become "seeing".

Best wishes to you, ToeJam, on navigating these rough times. May the assessment be much less stressful than perhaps feared.

And best wishes to Richard on his reburial; I hope it pleases him. <Insert here a cheap, half-humourous comment about a horse>