I have read your full post Sirensong18. I can only imagine how much frustration you are going through right now.

I know what vaginismus is, but I have never experienced it, so if that is what you are experiencing I do not have any insights to share with you.

However, I completely empathize with how you are feeling when your hubby tries to get you to cum by rubbing your clit. What I worry about is that I am taking too long to reach orgasm when my boyfriend pleasures me with his fingers and this throws me off at times.

Taking a small vacation to your aunt's and uncle's place may turn out to be very helpful for your marriage. My boyfriend and I have been long distance for a few months at a time each time over the past few years we've been dating and it's made the relationship really hard. However, it has also given us space to reflect upon and discuss some important issues.