Thanks for the empathy, it really helps. I totally concur with what you were saying about worrying about taking too long to cum. It's such a nasty mind space to be in, because as you're worrying about not taking too long, it's distracting from the pleasure, and then the pressure to hurry up and cum already makes it that much harder to actually cum. Ugh.

The one time in the last few months that hubby was actually able to get me to cum it was a bit of a nightmare. It took forever, and when I finally did cum it was a bit of a let down, it didn't actually feel very good, nothing like the heights I used to hit. Then I just felt instantly guilty and horrible because he was rubbing his wrist, I'd given him a hand cramp - but he didn't dare stop because he wanted to get me off. So that just made me feel that much more horrible because he clearly hated doing it and it made his hand/wrist cramp up. Just ugh.