Quote:
Originally Posted by sidestepper
The ones that say they accept medicaid only take a couple people the rest are non medicare/medicaid HMOs This is why we so desperately need a one payer system. I had to go to the community clinic to get a Pdoc and only got help after I was in crisis and hospitalized. It's so frustrating that they don't put more emphasis on prevention. We know when we need the help, we know what meds are working and which don't, not the insurance companies.
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I'm so disgusted by our medical system anymore. I work in scheduling for one of the biggest private practice medical companies in our city, and aren't accepting Medicaid, medicare, or Tricare. It's absolutely repulsive!
Last night I was at such a low, my fiancé asked me if I wanted to check myself in because I was borderline hysterical. I've never been hospitalized before, but it's only been over the last 6 months to a year that my symptoms have severely intensified. I don't know that I ever could voluntarily go I.P. I have a 15yr old daughter, I couldn't deal with what she would think - I don't think she even fully comprehends me having bipolar anyway, let alone going I.P.
I'm just incredibly aggravated, so fed up with not being able to find the help I need. I'm off one of my meds now that my PCP gave me because we assumed I would have gotten in with the P-doc by now to re-evaluate the medication. Thank God I'm seeing her (PCP) again on Tues to try and figure something else out meds wise until the jackass P-doc pulls his head out of his ***. I was just bawling last night wishing I could just "go away". Asking why? What the hell did I do to deserve this? I'm so freaking tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of sleeping 21 hours of the day for "x" amount of days, then all of a sudden only sleeping 2-3 hrs a night. Tired of fighting the system, tired of fighting myself. Not knowing from one minute to the next if I'm going to be happy, pissed off, or severely depressed and just want to lay down and cry. Its exhausting. So much of the time I wish I'd not been born. So much of the time I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up. I just want it all to go the hell away.