Thanks for the replies! StressedMess, I'm like you, I don't really realize until I come out of it. I can tell there are times I dissociate even in my own home with nothing going on...maybe even no one around.... the entire day will have gone by and I can't account for much of anything that I've done. And it's a weird feeling to have no concept of time, really. Something that happened this morning I would have thought happened several days ago. I'll get a text from a friend, saying something of importance, and will think they told me this days ago, not the same day. I've actually been "caught" being "forgetful" like this and it's embarrassing. I've learned to keep texts on my phone for a few days, or important ones longer, just so I can remind myself of when the correspondence happened. But in therapy, I completely shut down, and when I realize it's happening, I don't have any idea how much time has gone by, unless I saw the clock beforehand, and I'm shaking something fierce. Usually visibly shaking...but sometimes I just feel it inside.

My T actually gave me a fidgety toy to keep, and I usually bring it into therapy with me. It's just one of those rubbery spiral things you mess with. Can straighten it out, and spiral it back up again. It has a business name on it, and sometimes I'll straighten it out and just concentrate on the words on it. She'll ask what I'm thinking about. And when I tell her I'm just looking at the words on that thing (I don't know if there's a name for it), and she'll mention that my concentrating on those words is also taking me "away." Those aren't the exact words she used, but basically what she said. Here I thought it was helping me stay there. Either way, when she suggested that, I quit looking at it.

I'm glad others are interested in the posts on this thread too, please keep the ideas coming! What works for some may not work for all, so I don't mind having an arsenal...lol

Aside from physical touch, if my T has tried to keep me "there," I have not noticed how she's done it. Although she has asked me light hearted questions that don't pertain to anything negative.

Those who have followed my posts know that therapy for me right now is hanging in the balance. I don't want to quit, but don't feel comfortable staying either. The topic I've been staying on I finally told her I'd just let go. Thursday was to be my first session after having "given up" on that topic...and I ended up not going in on Thursday. It's the first time I canceled a session, but I'm quite glad I did now, as my two coworkers were both out of work on Friday, one with strep throat.

Given that I'm dropping "the subject," (not because I want to, but because I can tell my T is a bit frustrated with me holding onto it so hard and putting so much energy in it, and also because continuing with it isn't going to change anything, so aside from just having some experience in standing up for myself, I've gained nothing from it). So we'll get back to the tough subjects, and I'm trying to prepare for that. I don't want to shut down, I don't want to put myself in a bad place before I leave. I need to take responsibility for myself...and I think one thing that may help me is watching the clock. I haven't been.... and I don't want my T to ever feel she needs to kick me out....so I've been able to watch the clock initiate my departure myself. But I know if I check out, that won't happen....