I feel bad for feeling.

I want to drink to **** myself up to shut up everyone

She said the voices in my head are a problem and that I need help lots of it.

Do I need lots of help should I be locked away forever, **** she's told me how ****** I am.

I'm nothing special I'm just a compulsive liar who hides how much crap I am, and that people should feel pity and shouldn't kill myself but be normal.

So if I'm normal, will I be happy.

What she wants me to be sounds horrible.

Rather I decided to say **** everything now and I am going to fight all urges to eat I have medications for past mental health appointments long ago. I kept on to. That kill my appetite even further. ****, I say this like I'm proud in her words like I'm going to look like ghandi so it's all a joke. Everyone should hate me everything I say is a lie. Slit my throat and just ****ing die already because I am just not deserving ****. I got everything I've ever wanted, I need to not be accepted I need to have something bad caused unto me unintentionally then people will take care of me in her words.

I don't want anyone I'm ****ed up. I'm a joke, I hate you I ****ing hate you. I ****ing ****ing hate your mirror the way you look back at my face she's right I deserve what I put in.

It's settled lets get to business and die. You know attention seeking *****s like me deserve hell. I deserve hell I don't suffer like any of you I deserve hell. ****ing hell. Burn me for suicide, I hope everyone hangs me from a tree people hurt me and make bleed mutilate my dead body in disgrace.

If this is my life, hell welcomes me. I sinned in my previous life this life is my personal hell. I must die here imprisoned for eternity. Dying over and over again. Reliving this current hell.

Madness too my mind to this realization my corpse will rot. I'll be back dying pushing the inevitable. I'm just a tool a toy not a person will feelings or heart. I'm dead blackened by the hatred that others put upon me as the monster that breathes if I die by them it rather be me.

**** what you want you never wanted me. I'll go die like the **** I am without your help.