I was sexually abused by an order brother and his friends growing up, being too young to understanding what was happening...at the time I was thrilled that my big brother wanted to play with me. Which makes it worse today. Knowing that I allowed it to happen. I haven't allowed anyone in my family knows about this abuse. My parents fought often and divorced. Which I don't think is an issue
...but what do I know...The main reason I never told anyone about my brother is that my brother committed suicide, and I know if anyone in my family knew what happen to me it would also destroy the memory they have of him. I guess I don't want to cause my family any more pain than they have already, especially concerning my brother.
After my brothers death my family coped with their grief with alcohol and isolation. Leaving me I learn how to care for myself. I'm still in middle school at this time. I remember it was the first time I was angry at my brother because he stole my innocence/childhood in more ways the one. But I was the rock that held it together.
I haven't seen or talked to anyone about this.