Oh my goodness, I'm sorry you suffer so much! I think if I can "get out of my head" and learn to deal with my problems physically I'd be okay. Other than maybe the gerd/asthma, which from comments sounds like that might improve also. I'm scared of taking any habit forming medication. There are sooo many addicts on both sides of my family. I know its easy to say take them correctly and it won't happen, but It does. I don't want my kids to grow up seeing their mom an addict also. Right now I keep them in an environment where they are still naieve, they're young. This is probably the one decision I've made from fear that is good. I dont feel like its an irrational fear. If I was in dying pain (which I believe you experience) then it would probably be different. SpringLover, thank you for taking time to help give me more information on what I only know little about. It is people like you that help others move forward. Keep your head up, remember you are appreciated!