I am back at home visiting my parents. It was a long car ride here. I was so uncomfortable. I spent yesterday shopping with my mom, sister and niece. I was exhausted after an hour. I am so frustrated and tired of needing to rely on other people. After everyone was gone I basically cried myself to sleep. I don't know how much longer I can stand to do this. I am constantly acting like I am brave and it sucks. But I know no one wants to hang out with a cry baby... so I repress all that and make jokes all the time... only problem is, I'm not laughing anymore.