Ok, so we all know that building a love relationship online is not very healthy, independently of mind conditions. Say we’re talking about normal, healthy people who don’t need meds or therapy. When I visit this other “normal” forum to discuss love relationships with “normal” people, I only find a LOT of frustration and anger. It’s sort of just like here, except that forum is supposed to be about “normal” folks. The same happens at the music forum – anger and frustration are all over the place and the kids just beat each other up with mean words and mean competition.

So that they’re actually helping me understand what went on between me and HIM, him being someone who has mental issues and is currently unable to get any kind of pro help, whom I’ve met online and started to develop a relationship with. Much to my disappointment, it went sour exactly when it was becoming excellent, although it’s very easy to identify the reasons why it went sour, and the main reason is the distance; the “no-skin” situation being more of an issue for him than for me, but, what the heck, we can’t always get what we want, right? I mean, it’s Rolling Stones, but it’s true, haha!

What went on between HIM and I is, the more we got involved, the more I enjoyed it and although he has proven to me how he enjoyed it just as much, the more he got scared and overwhelmed by falling for someone so far away. Thing is, I don’t believe it went sour due to distance or the online situation, because I happen to know about very happy marriages between people who have met online. I think it went sour because I’m getting help and I’m getting healing and relief from the little monsters which inhabit minds like ours, whereas he isn’t. So he’s hurt me a few times by writing aggressive lines and I was able to forgive him. I’ve hurt him just once and he wasn’t able to forgive me. He’s stopped talking to me altogether because of one little thing that becomes over-magnified in his head because he’s not getting help.

Since I am, I figure he’s either going to come to terms with the whole story and do his part to at least save the friendship, or we’re never going to communicate again. Either way, I’m actually cool with it. I’m moving on. It’s so funny because only two months ago it would have crushed me to get a royal kick in the butt, knowing that I’d done NOTHING to deserve it. It was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding that normal couples deal with constantly. I can’t change anyone but myself, though, so… I’m changing. I’m not crushed. I’m sorry, but not crushed – major step up. I can see beyond tunnel vision, now, and not be sorry for myself or feel guilty when I know there’s absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

Anyways, this is just some feedback, in case there’s anyone here going through similar stuff. I wanted to share because I’m feeling good and I believe in healing and overcoming patterns of self-destruction.

Love is good. Forgiveness, understanding and generosity are acts of love. Wish you all loads of it.