I believe you are heading in the right direction by seeing a professional about your behaviors. You mentioned you have mania, racing thoughts, etc. do you also suffer with very low periods and depression? How does your depression feel? (If you have it)

I'm not here to shame you, but I'm a believer in being honest about affairs. I know some people think it's selfish to confess, but I believe it's a health issue. Your husband should know that he now needs to be checked for disease. Condoms can break. Again, I don't say this to shame (I'm no saint so I'd feel ridiculous chastising anyone)

It sounds like you know you are on a path to destruction. Please stick with your plan to get some help. If it turns out you have bipolar, meds can help ease your urges and impulses to do some of the destructive things you may have done. If it turns out its something else, a therapist can help you make sense of it all.

Good luck to you and your husband. I wish you both the best.