Oh ((((ridicknotme)))), what you have just shared is such a tramatic scenario. It is no wonder you are struggling so much. The brain can have a very, very hard time with that kind of experience, after all, you are only human.

Your brain will need a lot of "patience and time" to learn just how to process that, it doesn't happen overnight either. Also, you sound like you are really young yet so that makes it more of a challenge.

This loss was not your fault, you were young and in love and you both got distracted and an accident took place. This is something that does happen to many human beings, and it is always extremely difficult for people to process and find their way to moving forward in their lives.

When a loss like this takes place a person really never does forget it and they do have a tremendous need to talk about it. We are designed that way so that we sound an alarm to each other so others will be more aware and more careful. We are also designed to look at traumatic things that take place too, that is because we are always driven to learn and build on our information so that we develop a sense of "prevention".

Your challenge to process this is something that is a normal reaction with a trauma like this. You need to be very patient with yourself, yes, it has changed your life, it has changed your awareness of life and the meaning of life as well. However, you can learn to develop a higher appreciation for life, and you can use this experience in positive ways, even though you don't see that right now.

When something like this happens, one needs to learn how to appreciate life "in the moment" and that while this girl's life was short, what she did have is love, your love that did bring a quality to her life, and some people live their entire lives never experiencing that.

What is learned by this kind of experience, is how very fragile life is, and that one must embrace each moment, each day with an appreciation of life with an understanding that we never really do know how long our lives will be.

One can embrace a thought of I loved, she was special, she is gone, I am devastated. To, she was special, I loved her, she was so very valuable to me and now I have come to see/feel/experience how very much a young woman can have so much value, so I will take from this and see the true value in others, because while she was here, that is what she taught me.

One of the things that "can" happen when one really loves and is loved that is lost this way, is they can learn the true "value" of a life. Well, we live in a world where there are so many that do not "value a life" and they have done horrible things to others because of this too. The one thing that is desparately needed in this world are people that "do" know the value of one life, every life. Because you have learned this in such a profound way, you can develop an inner strength and set out to teach others to learn too, how to recognize the importance of another's life.

That is something you should write down and when you do struggle, embrace that message and think about what you can do with your life to use for others in a positive way from what you have learned to value from this one life. That is the best way to carry her with you ALWAYS.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE