This is my very first post at PC!

I grew up in a very puritanical Christian family where I was always told about "sin" and the "punishment for sin," it kind of got etched onto my brain. I was always a very timid and respectful male who didn't want to hurt other people's feelings. Most of all, I think, I didn't want people to judge me negatively or hurt me. I supposeI was protecting myself from the "punishment for sin" my parents told me of. It is very embarrassing, but when I was about 20 years old, a self-consciousness hit me. It's been with me ever since and hasn't let up. I became super self-conscious about where my eyes were pointing when I am talking to a woman.

When I am talking with a woman, I am looking straight into her eyes, but I am desperately resisting allowing the focus of my eyes to drop down to her chest. I guess I am terrified of how she'll react. I suppose I think that I am a pervert and am afraid of her drawing that conclusion about me. I am afraid of offending her, I'm afraid of drawing attention to myself, I am afraid she'll hate me and reject me.

Anyways, this anxiety about eye contact has developed into full fledged social anxiety disorder. I started avoiding my friends, hiding from girls, and even feeling anxious around family members. I used to believe that I was experiencing "lust" and that this was a moral problem: I just had to try harder to resist "temptation" and pray more about being forgiven by Jesus. Now, I realize that it is just social anxiety and fear of judgment. (But that's not to say I don't like breasts! ) I lost my virginity last year (age 25), at about the same time as I gave up on that shame and fear-based religion. But I still struggle with self-consciousness and anxiety.

Do any of you have this problem? What do you think? What do you recommend for recovery? Thanks for any words you might have!

~~~~~ Edwyn.