Angela:

((((((((((hugs)))))))))) if you want them.

Don't feel too bad for dissociating. I do it all the time too. Not exactly healthy but it's better than feeling everything at once, and the consequences of not being able to cope in that way.

I had a really bad night the other night and was grappling with some of the same issues you were fighting with but I made it through, though I don't know how. I just couldn't do it. Sometimes I hate my mother. Right now, numb and unaffected feels pretty darn good

Sorry that I turned this into a "me" post.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone and I sure hope you start feeling better soon. You help alot of people on here (including me) with your posts and btw: your post didn't sound stupid. It sounded like the truth....

Take Care

Kimberly