Hopefully this is the way to submit items that might be triggering.
Tonite I will be doing nothing about these feelings but the urge is extremely strong. I told my T this AM and he just wants me to let them pass. I called the helplines and crisis lines but they are so tired of hearing this from me, they want to throw up. I can forget the hospital, they would not admit, they will just send me home with more drugs. They only admit people who have families and friends who want to see their loved one improve, mine don't.

I understand that all of you are supportive but this is the internet. These are virtual hugs and kind words. I need people in my real life who care and this goal is not going to happen.)