Since the accident in December (click the link to read about that) I have been having difficulties with depression and anxiety, and life, unrelated to the accident directly, has started to spiral downhill for me.

Before the accident I had been feeling like I work in a toxic environment: everyone blames someone else, everyone lies, management does nothing to manage the employees there so everyone does whatever they want, I have been threatened with a weapon and harassed by co-workers that management did nothing about, I work with some of the most irrational, immature, and disgusting people I’ve ever met, I have frequently felt used as a scapegoat when something has gone wrong, nobody ever says anything good about anyone there, etc. Whenever I am at work I am counting the minutes until I can leave, and I feel like a cat with its hair sticking up, that anyone around me could be a threat.

After the accident I was held in the acute trauma and sickness ward before returning home from the hospital. (For the record this was the third accident in 12 months that required hospitalization, the second that required an ambulance, and the first involving a motor vehicle.)

Less than a month after the accident and as I was still off recovering my mother lost her full-time job. Out of financial necessity to support us, and because doctors felt I was healed enough to work again, I was forced to return to work when I didn’t feel ready to.

The accident made me more aware of the risks associated with this kind of work (truck driving), and so I have decided to return to school in April to do something else, and that is stressful enough as it is. I worry if I will fail, if I am making the right choice, how I will afford it all, etc.

About two months ago I found out that the company was cutting out about 50% of my work, in a way being semi laid-off, which reduces my income to about 50% of what it was before.

Mom recently came down with a case of pneumonia too

Now I am a 20-something year old prospective student that around 3 months ago experienced an almost fatal workplace accident and is now semi-laid off from that job while supporting a 56-year-old parent with pneumonia.

Fact – I feel extremely anxious, stressed, and depressed

Surprisingly what makes me feel the most depressed is the lack of positive support in my life. The place I work at feels like it sucks the life force out of me (and almost sucked the life out of me), where nobody says I do well or anything positive about the work I do, and then I come home to a sick and emotionally absent mother. My Girlfriend tries to be supportive, but due to the nature of our relationship, she can’t really be here with me as much as I wish she was

I just don’t know where to turn to for emotional support