So I have lived with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years. We have been together for about 4 1/2 years.. but every now and then we get into these arguments. We end up practically at each other's throats for a few hours before one of us backs down.

I guess, it's important that you know that I have a lot of personal issues that I haven't worked through yet. I have decided in the last year that I really just hate myself and feel everyone would probably be better off without me. We talked last night after a really bad argument (as in he was going to move out).. He says he sees things in me like pride and spite and that I have to realize that I have these kinds of attributes (pride, spite, envy, etc) of my personality. He thinks that in order for us to be able to communicate better, I will have to learn to accept who I am including the bad stuff. I guess I just don't really know what it takes exactly to overcome these bad traits.

I had some questions thoug.. like how do you know when you're being prideful? Like versus having someone try to manipulate or take advantage of you. I just recently realized that I dint really know how to be in a functional relationship. I haven't had the best role models. But he is special to me. I can see myself going through the long haul with him and I want to better myself. I just don't know how.