I'm sick of the meds. I'm on Seroquel and I know that's good for me and we have basically done everything. It's the side effects, the sleeping 10-11 hours, the fact that I have to be knocked out because my mind just doesn't stop. Sleeping so long that I don't have time to spend with my husband because when I get up I have to shower and go straight to work for my ten hour shift. Waking up like a zombie and having to have caffeine, yet getting yelled at by the pdoc for the caffeine. I have to get to work and function at work. The weight. I already have to live with this BP and OCD and then this crap. Knowing that this is the way it will be forever, that's what is bothering me so much right now, this realization. Sorry for whining, it could be a lot worse and has been. It's just coming to terms with this.