junkDNA I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. You had to go through mediation? Does that mean that you had to face your former T? I still shudder at the thought of possibly running into around the city. So far that hasn't happened. I literally have been diagnosed with PTSD, which was made much worse through her abandonment of me....so now I have another episode of PTSD. I am hyper vigilant and am not at all myself in new situations until I've totally scoped out where I am and know that she isn't there. It makes going to the mall and grocery store very stressful!