(((Scarlet))) I was thinking about you today and suddenly realized something. When I feel really bad the intensity comes and goes. It's like my body won't let my feelings go out too far for too long before it returns and gives me a break, at least for enough time to recover for the next round. It will do this on its own, whether I consciously use self-help skills or not. The skills just make the process work better and more permanently. I assume most bodies are like that.

I might have this wrong but it seems like your body/mind either doesn't have that automatic "off switch" or it isn't working well enough to protect you. That must be so hard! Then when your learned techniques that you need to use consciously don't work well enough to be pathologized...all I can give you at this point is to say to you that I think about you a lot when I'm not online, and that to me you are so strong.