Quote:
Originally Posted by ragsnfeathers
(((Scarlet))) I was thinking about you today and suddenly realized something. When I feel really bad the intensity comes and goes. It's like my body won't let my feelings go out too far for too long before it returns and gives me a break, at least for enough time to recover for the next round. It will do this on its own, whether I consciously use self-help skills or not. The skills just make the process work better and more permanently. I assume most bodies are like that.
I might have this wrong but it seems like your body/mind either doesn't have that automatic "off switch" or it isn't working well enough to protect you. That must be so hard! Then when your learned techniques that you need to use consciously don't work well enough to be pathologized...all I can give you at this point is to say to you that I think about you a lot when I'm not online, and that to me you are so strong.
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Yeah. My body/mind doesn't seem to realize reality. My fiance and I were talking about that last night. Even with me having PCOS, I'm not supposed to have regular cycles. My body never got the memo
There's so many things that make absolutely no sense.
But that's why my Pdoc is allowing me to take Ativan daily. And that stuff is knocking me out. I just sleep and sleep and sleep. But I'm grateful for all the sleep. That's my off switch right now. My body is slowly feeling better. I felt good enough today to sweep out the garage. And like I mentioned, the crying is really only at night.
I can call the counselor at the crisis house tonight, but I think I'm going to wait for next week. I think I'd rather see how this new T is and then update her from there.
I can't believe a week has already passed since I talked to the counselor. And it's been almost 2 weeks since I saw my T
But I'm still trying.