I want to scream and shout out my frustration. i hate my life. i just realised how much i hate it. ONLY I CAN CHANGE IT. DEFLATED.
had a great weekend, back to reality and i hate it. i looked at all the loving couples walking hand in hand and wished i was 18 again and in lust and love yes i know that doesnt last. but anything has to be better than this miserable existance.

18 year old daughter turned into selfish spoiled brat overnight.
son brilliant - cant Fault him - but need to go get out - dont have money or courage or anything. i'm the tin man the lion and the scarecrow rolled into one.

WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL AND HAPPY AND CONTENT AND COUNT MY BLESSINGS? BECUASE I'M A SELFISH COW THAT'S WHY. SOB SOB SOB
THOUGHT I WAS GETTING BETTER. I REALLY DID.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP