Don't expect too much, develop a thick skin, treat everything anyone says in their profile with a pinch of salt, never trust photos, don't waste too much money on them. Pof is a bit low rent IMO, OK cupid and oasis are free and not bad. As for messaging don't bother spending ages constructing erudite, witty, interesting missives as 99 times out of a hundred women won't respond anyway. Oasis is good cos you can chat in real time. Give it a go you might strike lucky. Never tried the paid ones. Not sure they are worth it.