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Echoes said: I dislike the pillow because it seems mocking to me,

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Echoes,
Maybe this is related to why you can't feel attached to T right now. I think that if you could discuss this pillow and how it affects you in-session, then you might make some headway. It is important for us to feel safe in the room where we are spilling our guts, eh? And if you feel you are being mocked, even on a subtle level, then that will affect the whole process.

I vote for pillow-talk next sesssion!

Good luck.