2 wives? One is enough work for any guy.

I think the starting place is working on getting past the lie that set up the arrangement. It sounds like it was her family, not her, that told you things that weren't true and I would suggest working on getting around that confusion. Secondly, getting past her first divorce. Once you guys are on the same page, then you can start working on the rest.

So once you've worked through the way your marriage started, you should both make a list of your differences and grievances and see how to work through them. You may find that as you let go of the past and work through your problems that you grow to love each other.