You dont know the ridiculous men i married. Or ridiculous boyfriends i had. Thats the point. I dont know if this applies to your situation with your t. But i knew my parents were uneducated and superstitious, and my bfs were beneath me intellectually (and other ways) also. So i could retain my dismissive stance. I also knew they didnt love or respect me and the feeling was mutual. Like the book title, "i hate you, dont leave me!" Its a horrible way to live. My t says my mother connects thru pain. I dont quite understand that, and boy i dont want to.