I'm sorry you had such a hard night. I hope things are looking brighter this morning. You are a wonderful person and you deserve to be happy and well.

Is your sleep schedule off that you are awake so late/early? I know for myself, that not sleeping at night, or especially getting really wonky with no set schedule, can really make bad feelings and thoughts a thousand times worse.

You are not wrong for feeling angry with your therapist for what she did. Anybody would feel angry and maybe fantasize about hurting her back. How can you get over a betrayal like this without going through that anger? It shows you are progressing a great deal in dealing with what she did.

You're right that therapists don't stay forever. They don't, and they are supposed to help you learn to deal with that, not do what your therapist did and make false promises about being there forever. Maybe addressing this upfront can be helpful in approaching your new DBT therapist. Maybe they can work with you on how to get close to people while learning to accept that they won't always be there and how to deal with those feelings. Maybe understanding where you are coming from can help your new therapist realize they need to be all the more gentle and respectful of you.

What your therapist did to you was the height of disrespect for you as a client and as an autonomous human being. I swear, sometimes the things I read on here from people whose therapists pull stuff like this, makes me think a lot of mental health professionals are on a massive power trip!

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I'm angry on your behalf, at something deplorable that was done to you by a professional who ought to have known better. I hope it's okay that I say you are in my prayers and I hope you are keeping yourself safe today, and that it will be a good day. There can and will be good days for you ahead. You are brilliant and resilient and you are going to get through this and be even stronger for it. Whatever those voices are telling you that's bad about yourself, listen to the people on here instead who are telling you how fantastic you are, that none of this is your fault, and that you deserve to be happy and healthy. Those voices, like some therapists, lie their patooties off.