The pillow seems really significant, ECHOES. It would be interesting to discuss it with your T. My T has asked me before what he can do to make being with him feel safer, and I have given him a suggestion about his room (don't know if that's what he had in mind) and that was to dim the lights. And he acquiesced, so he was open to "changing the environment" suggestions, so maybe your T would be too. (I am now past the "dim the lights" phase, lol.)

I always sit with a big pillow behind me on T's couch so I don't sink too far into the couch (I hate that). I also used to hold another big pillow in front of me. I think it kind of protected me, like I could hide from T behind it if I needed to. And sometimes T would have me hug it or grip it in a certain way when we were doing work on stuff from my childhood. I don't hold a pillow in front of me anymore. Guess I don't need to hide from T, or need protection from him anymore, and we also have stopped working on childhood issues.