That's pretty rough all the way around-I think it's huge that you can admit the fact that you have control at work but not at home. My Dad is like that & also my 1st husband-people just cannot believe that fun loving good natured people in public can just totally lose it at home. Your kids do need you to show them the way as they are becoming young adults. Not sure what the answer is just want to give you some support & send virtual hugs your way Vent away here as much as you need to-I already lived through my daughter being a teen & was also an adolescent treatment nurse so I can suggest to pick your battles carefully. Remember in a hundred years it won't matter if all the chores got done on time or the house was messy take care ozzy